Denial

So, 'It won't happen to me'? I am here to say that it CAN happen to anyone. I read a saying not that long ago that Depression was not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you have been too strong for too long, or words to that effect. I could not agree more. As a mum you think you need to do it all, know it all, and be good at it all! So you put your worries aside, hold your head up high and solider on. The problem with this is that they catch up with you eventually and you start to burst at the seams.

Once my little man was about 6 months, I started to burst at the seams. I remember one day my parents were coming to collect him to have him for the weekend. In my mind I was screaming 'please just take him away', but on the outside as normal that forced smile kissed him goodbye like all was well. I spent the rest of the afternoon lying on my bed crying. What sort of mum begs people to take their child away? Over two years later I can say with certainty that MANY mums on the inside are begging for their child to be taken away.. not forever, but just long enough so their head does not explode.

It was only after this afternoon that I knew there was something very wrong. This time round the PND was mild.. although I would not say it was at the time, compared to what I was dished after baby number two, this was mild! All I needed was some good support and helpful advice (and a holiday of course) and I was on the mend. So much so, we decided little Lachie needed a baby brother or sister. By the time he was 10mths old I was pregnant with number 2! Never do I regret this decision as it has given me my beautiful baby girl, however in hindsight I was not mentally strong enough to take on 2 kids.. at the time I thought I was, but it is always hindsight that bites you in the bum.