Allowing my self to feel

I am happy to say that after after taking another 'nutcase' test, my anxiety levels are lower than the start of last year. A huge reminder to me of how far I have come and a reason to give my self a pat on the back. I stopped fighting and started accepting...

Now I wish I could continue to do this with everything else! But baby steps Beck, remember Rome was not built in a day. My test this time around shows my stress and depression the same if not worse than early last year. Nice! I need to allow my self to feel. I have one setting and that is content. I have far too many rules for my self and don't allow myself to feel the emotions that I have. Everything is bottled up, so it's no wondering I want to scream.. this is my bottle exploding, and when it finally does I am sure it will make a damn big mess!

I am too busy running about trying to do the right thing and keep everything in order, and helping to keep everyone else happy, I am forgetting too much about myself. And then when I do something for my self I feel selfish and guilty. This needs to stop. Heading out for an island holiday by myself might be taking it too far, but I am a person just as much as everyone else in this house.. My expectations of my self are far too high, and in turn I think that everyone else has these same expectations of me. I am sure they don't! I don't expect it of anyone else so why would I think that they expect the same of me... For that I don't need a pat on the back, but maybe a kick up the bum :)