This is the life of me, here and now. Wife, Mum of two beautiful ratbags, and trying to find me in there somewhere too! Blogging the thoughts and journey through PND that has me where I am today. This is the life of my Happy (and sometimes not so happy) Mayhem..

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dance.. Like no one is watching

I was one of those kids who loved to lock my self in my room and dance in front of the mirror with my hair brush in hand.. I could let go and just do it because that's what I felt like. Blushing slightly, I still love to do this. Ok to a lesser extent. There is no longer a hair brush in hand, and I don't pretend I am a rock star. But I have rediscovered my love of music. I have found myself blasting my ipod dock and dancing around in my underwear. And can I say there is no better therapy. I don't have to sit there agonising over 'am I doing this right', 'where did I go wrong here', 'why don't I feel this way', or 'why do I feel that way'.. I can just let my hair down and dance the blues away. Have you ever felt like standing in the middle of a field and yelling the loudest expletives possible? Well this is like a more lady like and sane version of that feeling.

I don't care how bad I look, or how bad I sound.. no one is looking!!! It feels like ultimate freedom in my own home. PND can feel very lonely. Even when you are at home in your comfort zone, you can still feel so very uncomfortable and alone. When your own home can not make you feel at ease, where do you turn? It took me a while to appreciate this passion, but now that I have found this again I look forward to those times my hubby just pops out with one of the kids for 5 or when they are in bed, and I can just let go and be me, and there is no questioning.. In fact, I might just head there now!

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